discussion   |   photos   |   email   |   myProfile   |   home          Login Now | Sign Up


Forum Index


New As Posted | Active Subjects



Click to Post a New Message!

Discussion Boards > Active Subjects > Messages as Posted > Just For Fun Off Topic Forum

Page [ 1 ] |
Reply | Pop Up Window Reply | Add PhotoAdd Photo
 05-10-2004, 20:03 Post: 85700
kwschumm



View my Photos

View my Photos  Pics
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NW Oregon
TractorPoint Premium Member -- 5 Tractors = Very Frequent Poster
Posts: 5764

Return to Full
 Joke of the day

The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs,
he fumbled for his passport.

"You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked
sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival in
France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly
explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44, I
couldn't find any f---ing Frenchmen to show it to."






Reply to PostReply | Quote Post Reply to PostQuote Reply | Add PhotoAdd Photo




Bookmarks: Digg It | Del.icio.us |
 09-20-2004, 18:10 Post: 96915
kwschumm



View my Photos

View my Photos  Pics
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NW Oregon
TractorPoint Premium Member -- 5 Tractors = Very Frequent Poster
Posts: 5764

Return to Full
 Joke of the day

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.






Reply to PostReply | Quote Post Reply to PostQuote Reply | Add PhotoAdd Photo




Bookmarks: Digg It | Del.icio.us |
Reply | Pop Up Window Reply | Add PhotoAdd Photo


Page [ 1 ] |

Discussion Boards > Active Subjects > Messages as Posted > Just For Fun Off Topic Forum

Thread 73930 Filter by Poster:
auerbach 1 | Billy 1 | Chief 1 | DennisCTB 1 | DRankin 2 | grassgod 1 | grinder 1 | kthompson 1 | kwschumm 2 |

 (advanced search)

Picture of the Day
candoarms

Landscape Maintenance - Elm Tree Removal Minot North Dakota
Elm Tree Removal Minot North Dakota


Unanswered Questions

Gas Generator Weather Protecti
Horse Injured Polyrope Electri
Do electric fences keep out de
Any Peruvian Paso Owners Out T
gas powered post driver
My new born foal is really sic
Trailer Axle
dump trailer blueprints


Active Subjects

Gas Generator Weather Protecti
Went to see Dennis Reis this w
Signs to look for prior to lab
leg injury
Broodmare has welts all over h
Some Christmas Humor For Horse
poles in the ground vs. concre
ever thought about moving?


Hot Topics

new app owner
Some Christmas Humor For Horse
Any Peruvian Paso Owners Out T
Heating a Garage
Gas Generator Weather Protecti
Do electric fences keep out de
gas powered post driver
Trailer Axle


Featured Suppliers

Mountain Creek Labradoodles
      MountainCreekLabradoodles.com





New Forums on Gun Sport Shooting and Hunting -- BarrelPoint.com  New Forums on Horses ManePoint.com
Talk Horses at ManePoint
Hunting + Gun Sports at BarrelPoint



Most Viewed

+ Joke o the day
+ Vandalism or Civil Matter
+ Merry Christmas
+ -17 degrees F
+ Colonoscopy Tuesday how did your s go
+ New Implements
+ Merry Christmas to all TP Members
+ Youth Christmas Gift Gun
+ What is your self-worth
+ Shooting at Mall in Kingston

Most Discussion

+ -17 degrees F
+ New Implements
+ one theory on Jobs
+ WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY
+ Empire farm days
+ Shooting at Mall in Kingston
+ Vandalism or Civil Matter
+ Joke o the day
+ A thought-provoking eye-opener
+ Hey Randy You are going to

Newest Topics

+ New Forums
+ The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
+ Things we say and what do they mean REALLY
+ Smile for the day Ole and Swen and others
+ Too much Snow Too Soon for me
+ Happy Thanksgiving
+ Commuting 335 miles to work
+ I m back
+ Some weather related news from North Dakota
+ How did you wind up where you are living Survey
















Turbochargers for Tractors and Industrial Machines
Cab Glass for Tractors and Industrial Machines

Alternators for Tractors and Industrial Machines
Radiators for Tractors and Industrial Machines

Driveline Components for Tractors and Industrial Machines
Starter Motors for Tractors and Industrial Machines